04/06/2013 | Writer: Nevin Öztop
Boban Stojanovic becomes the guest of the Serbian Big Brother show and faces the public itself and mainstream media reaction.
Boban Stojanovic is a gay activist in Serbia. Recently, a decision has changed his life, along with many other lives: Agreeing to be one of the guests of the Big Brother House in Serbia. A lot has changed in his personal circle as well as the reactions from society and pop culture however one effect is simply not describable: “I hadn’t seen my mother for 8 years, but now, after all this positive reaction, we decide to meet each other.”
First of all, I am curious of what you think about why you believe they picked you for the Serbian Big Brother show. Tell us.
There are several main profiles of Big Brother participants. People from political field are one of them. That was the explanation when producers called me. LGBT rights are in focus in Serbian society since several years, mostly because of public debate about Pride Parade, but also there is other initiatives who open this topic. Some of explanations were that my personal story and optimistic approach toward the promotion of LGBT rights was interesting for production, so several things was important for their decision to call me.
Who else was there?
This session of VIP Big Brother was quite interesting, because there were different people. There was an academic professor, Olympic recorders, fashion and erotic models, singers… Show covers three countries: Serbia, Macedonia and Bosnia & Herzegovina. Most of the people were very nice, there were no openly homophobic persons, but some of them were very conservative and religious. One of them was a former Olympic recorder, one of most success Serbian athletes Dragutin Topic. When I come to the Big Brother House, Dragutin was a little bit nervous because I was there. Same feeling was on my side. But, day by day we built nice relationship and become good friends. After I left the house, several times he spoke about his inner process of acceptance of my presence there. I found it useful and a good message to other conservative people in Serbia and whole region.
Did you get to present yourself the way you wanted or did have have to fake some parts as a part of the show?
Some of my friends from Serbian public life were already a part of reality shows and their suggestions were: Just be you! And, really, it is very hard to be fake. Also, if I compare myself with other people, I was not so “welcome” there, because some popular people were around me. So, there was a decision: OK, I will offer Boban everyday to this brutal show and audience will judge him about it. I stayed there for three weeks, which was fifty percent of the show and it was quite good. During that time, perception of audience was completely changed. When I come in, the audience in the form of the Big Brother House was very aggressive, screaming at me and it was a stressful experience. But, when I come out of the house, the attitude was different. They were positive, applauding me, showing hearts made from the hands and rising two fingers as a sign of victory. It was an amazing experience and I was completely confused about what was happening to me. However, I was happy!
Usually these shows have “a gay” or a “gay looking” character in it. Were you afraid of this?
Not so much. I accept the theory that people are smart based on how much they have ability to participate in contemporary society. One way was to look on reality show as negative, stereotypical and commercial product of neoliberal society, and the second way was to use this chance and do something. And, I picked the second.
What kind of feedback did you get from your family and friends?
My close friends give me support from the beginning and they are very proud on me now. I hadn’t seen my mother for 8 years, but now, after all this positive reaction, we decide to meet each other. She felt shame because I was an activist who is publicly out and speaks about life openly... She is also afraid because, from her perspective, I expose myself as a potential victim of violence. But now, she is very happy because she has good arguments for others where she can say: I’m a proud mother of this guy!
How did people react to you on the streets? I bet some recognized you?
It is amazing. People recognized me on the street before too, but their reaction mostly was very negative. Now it is completely different. People are now very nice and polite. Some of them just want to shake hands with me, some want to take pictures... Before several days I was in Sarajevo and people there also recognize me and all reactions was positive. Most of us who are in LGBT activism learn to walk on the streets looking down. This is the first time I feel free and comfortable to walk proudly.
How do you think it effected the way you do your activism and the visibility of LGBT people in society?
From my coming out in the Big Brother House, I received thousands of massages. Different people write me now: Mothers who want to support their children, religious people, even football fans and straight guys. But most important for me are those messages who comes from the LGBT society itself. It is the first time in my life in activism to receive this amount of compliment from LGBT people. It makes me very happy.
In Queeria Center, we promote the idea that activism can be realized anytime and everywhere. Activism can’t only be angriness and criticism to the rest of the world. Very often I ask myself: OK, Boban, you are angy and disappointed, but did you do something to make this world better?
LGBT people are dehumanized and ashamed and what most of us need is to be accepted and loved by others. Also, I learned to accept a lot of criticism about my work: Why do you accept to be in tabloids? Why do you give support to some pop stars who support all patriarchal normative? How you can be in TV studio with conservative politicians and members of radical movement? Why you want to be mainstream? These are some of the questions which I received from parts of activist community, but --who cares if happiness and results is there!? Rule to “be against” is for weak people who try to find excuse to facing real life.
Tags: life
